CHEMISTRY CHAMELEON

If you’ve ever met me in person, you know I’m no shrinking violet. Terms people use to describe me include “force of nature,” “whirlwind,” “stream-of-conscious thinker.” Yet, many of my clients are very conservative, highly corporate executives, who would probably get on the phone to the mental hospital within minutes if I ever “stepped out of character” during meetings. 

While it’s essential for you to be yourself to deliver a genuine message, there are times you may need to get “around” yourself a bit—to modify your personality to match the chemistry of “the room” (a term I use to mean the conference hall, the conference room, or the cubicle). 

Is your personality too big? Could you take it down a notch? Is it too small or subtle? Do you need an energy infusion? Are you going to get lost in the crowd—even though you’re supposed to be leading it? How can you adapt yourself to various settings to persuade effectively? 

If you’re meeting with a linear-thinking person who’s threatened by big personal movements, he will shut down if you start gesticulating wildly. If you are naturally gregarious, avoid your natural tendency toward “touchy” and “feely.” 

Or are you shy? Someone may interpret your reluctance to open up or be touched in any way as being ineffectual. Plan something to say and say it as soon as you can squeeze it in. Take a breath. Relax. Let go for a while and let the other version of you take the lead.

If you are trying to persuade someone very different from you who’s not vested interest in helping you, it’s essential to find a way to bond with them. Sometimes that means stepping out of your comfort zone. You do what you have to do.

Get more exciting communication tips in Your Self-Sabotage Survival Guide by Karen Berg. Read more here: tinyurl.com/y786t4ax